


To Infinity and Beyond

by theSinTin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Implied Sexual Content, It's just Stormtroopers though, M/M, Minor Character Death, Space Amazon, jetpack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 09:22:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13028028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theSinTin/pseuds/theSinTin
Summary: After a night of overindulgence with Captain Phasma, Hux discovers he made an unexpected purchase off of Space Amazon.





	To Infinity and Beyond

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in July/August and had it sitting around in google drives. Finally got the time to edit and post.
> 
> This is based on the official Hux action figure that comes with the jetpack. This was my very first fanfic concept when I started reading kylux fics in April 2016 so I'm happy to finally be sharing it with everyone.

Hux groaned when he heard his alarm go off. How much had he drank last night? His head was absolutely killing him.

He rolled onto his side to set the alarm to snooze before resting his eyes. Why would he let Phasma convince him to go drinking when he had an early shift in the morning? A moment of weakness, he assumed.

He dozed for an unknown amount of time, before something furry and warm woke him instead of the alarm. Hux opened his eyes to see Millicent laying against his face in the bed, curling up to sleep with him. The thought was appealing. Setting all his comms to “do not disturb” and curling up in bed with Millicent all day. But alas, he was the General, and he needed to be present on the bridge.

Slowly getting up, he squinted his eyes at the light coming from the living room of his quarters that hadn’t been turned off the night before. Foolish, he wondered again how much he had drank. It didn’t matter, he just needed to get out to the bridge. He proceeded through his morning routine as normal, popped some medicine in his mouth in lieu of an actual breakfast and got suited into his uniform. Checking himself in the mirror once, he turned to leave towards his front door to his quarters.

Hux was surprised to see a package waiting for him just outside his door. _What in the world is this_ , he wondered as he bent down to check the name on the box. It was definitely for him, but the return address made him sigh.

Space Amazon.

A man like Hux had crawled his way from the bottom of the barrel to get into a position like on his own. And in climbing to the top, he had many regrets. Past actions, taking advantage of comrades to push himself forward. But in that moment, he regretted most having an autobuy option hooked up on his Space Amazon account.

Hux was well known for his many drunk purchases from the site. Sometimes they would be useful. His drunk self would remember he had run out of the specific lotion he often used and would do the pleasure of buying it for himself. But sometimes, his drunk self would purchase foolish things. Such as the miniature bed for Millicent to sleep on. It turned out to not be such a bad purchase, seeing how happy she was to lay on a miniature-sized bed next to Hux’s own. But seeing the size of this box, which was larger than his torso, he knew this was be a big regret.

He hauled the box into his quarters and took out his pocket knife. Carefully, he removed the tape sealing the top of the box and opened the flaps. Curiosity struck him at first, seeing the number of packing peanuts that spilled from the box as he dug his hand in. Feeling something metal and heavy, he stood on his feet to pull the massive item out of the box.

Was this…

\---

Kylo Ren stood alone on the bridge this morning on the _Finalizer_ , overseeing all the command stations. This was not normally his task, but upon seeing that Hux hadn’t shown up quite yet for his shift, he took command. Hux was only late by no more than 10 minutes, Ren still didn’t want the men and women aboard this ship to get worried about the leadership in command. So Ren jumped on the situation and took over in Hux’s wake.

Granted, Ren was mostly just standing there looking intimidating.

It wasn’t really more than what Hux normally did anyway.

“Sir,” came a feminine voice from behind Ren. He turned to see Captain Phasma in her full suit of chrome armour approaching him on the bridge. She held her hand in salute before dropping it. “Any sign of General Hux?”

“Not yet, Captain,” Ren answered. Before he did his best to lower his voice before speaking to her. “You didn’t let him overindulge again, right?”

“I…” Phasma stuttered, answering Ren’s question quite obviously. “No more than usual, sir.”

“Hopefully he will pull himself together in due tim-“ Ren started, but was quickly cut off by the doors to the bridge opening loudly. And further stuttered upon seeing General Hux of the First Order, floating a good two feet off the ground.

Hux tilted forward, propelling himself forward and approaching Phasma and Ren at the end of the bridge. As he approached, Ren began to hear the noise of an engine and seeing the large backpack object strapped to Hux’s back, Ren realized he was wearing some sort of jet system. When he arrived, he simply nodded at the two before speaking. “Morning Captain, Ren,” Hux greeted, his face was completely neutral and void of any emotion. “Thank you for watching the bridge.”

“Um,” Ren started, raising a finger to point at the jetpack, but Phasma interrupted.

“Was this another drunken Space Amazon purchase?” Phasma asked bluntly, not even bothering to lower her voice. Everyone in the room already had their eyes locked on them.

“Of course not,” Hux shot back. “I realized that having a jetpack would be a lot more beneficial for me on a ship of this size. It’ll allow me to get across the ship in half the time as before.”

“Hux,” Ren started, “This isn’t exactly safe-”

“Says the one who tears apart my consoles with a device that could explode at any minute,” Hux responded, propelling himself away from Ren and towards the edge of the bridge. “You are both dismissed.”

Ren and Phasma exchanged looks (as best they could, considering they both wore helmets), before departing from the bridge.

\---

 

What both Phasma and Ren had hoped would be a one-time occurance quickly became an unfortunate daily routine. Hux began to spend all waking hours wearing the jetpack, crossing the halls in it, flying over stormtroopers who blocked the walkways, and even made speeches wearing the blasted thing. 

“Hux,” Phasma pleaded, “You need to stop this.”

They were in the officer’s lounge together, Phasma had removed her helmet to try and beg Hux to stop this nonsense. But it wasn’t going to work.

“My efficiency had improved by at least 20% since I started traveling with it on,” Hux rationed. “Give me one good reason why I should stop.”

“Okay one, the thing wastes more fuel in an hour than what could fly a Tie Fighter for a week,” Phasma pointed out. “Two, it expels toxic fumes to the point that even the troopers’ helmets don’t filter it out, and frankly it’s a miracle you’re still alive.” She was listing them on her fingers, counting to number three. “And three, and most importantly, you look like an absolute buffoon and no one takes you seriously now.”

“Captain,” Hux snarled, “I _do not_ look like a _buffoon._ I think this has quite improved my image. I’m now far more mobile than I was before, and who’s going to mess with a general wearing a jetpack?”

“Clearly you haven’t seen the spacenet memes that resulted from your last speech,” she replied. “Hux, just consider though. The fumes might be affecting you-”

“I put a filter on it after that trooper passed out,” Hux defended, turning around midair (because yes he was still wearing it while he drank), pointing to what seemed like a coffee filter that was strapped over the exhaust pipe with duct tape. 

“That’s not safe, that’s a fire hazard,” Phasma replied as Hux turned around again. “Sir, I’m begging you to return that contraption and just admit you made another drunk purchase…”

“I did no such thing, and this conversation is over. Good day, Captain.” Hux practically snarled as he floated towards the lounge’s exit. He tried to act as casual as possible as he floated too high and hit his head on the doorframe. He quickly straightened his posture to a parade rest, before floating under the door and exiting. 

This was too much.

\---

“General,” Ren greeted Hux gaining entrance to his room. “I was surprised when I received your summons, it had been quite awhile since our last encounter.”

“I’ve been busy, as you know Ren,” Hux excused, dressed in his full uniform to greet the door.

“I’m happy to see you’re not wearing that contraption today,” Ren smiled as he removed his helmet, tossing his black hair in his hand. 

“Don’t call it a contraption, you should be well aware of how efficient it is by now,” Hux practically growled, before straightening up. “Let me put Millicent in the ‘fresher, I’ll be right out then if you’ll get ready,” he practically purred before turning around and heading to the refresher.

Seeing Hux grab his cat before closing the door, Ren followed his instructions and began to disrobe. When Hux returned, he was stark naked in Hux’s quarters. “It’s been awhile, so we’re going to have to spend more time on prep-”

There, floating just outside of the refresher door, stood Hux stark naked except for a pair of socks and wearing the jetpack on his back. Hux had the utmost satisfied grin on his face as he approached Ren.

“No.” Ren replied, crossing his arms.

“No? What do you mean no?” Hux asked, tilting his head. 

“I mean no, I’m not doing this with the jetpack on.”

“It’s not like you’re wearing the jetpack-”

“You know what I mean,” Ren snarled. “Why would you even want to wear it during sex?”

“It makes me feel powerful,” Hux deadpanned, looking at Ren totally serious.

“I’m sorry for wasting your time, General,” Ren said oozing sarcasm as he bent down to grab his leggings. 

“Come on Kylo, it’s not that bad,” Hux tried to say as he ran a hand down Ren’s back, floating just behind him.

“No,” Ren replied, trying to ignore him. “The exhaust that thing puts out are still noxious,” Ren said as he pulled on his leggings and fanned the air with his hand. 

“Is not,” Hux huffed. The technician he got the filter from said it’d be fine now… “Come on Ren, it’s been awhile. Don’t you miss this?” Hux purred in Ren’s ear as he stroked his hands down Ren’s sides.

“I can barely hear you over the damn engine on that thing,” Ren growled, turning around to face Hux. It was all the more obnoxious that floating made Hux slightly taller now. “If you want to continue with tonight, I will. But take that thing off.”

“Ren, come on,” Hux practically whined, but propelled himself closer. Making Ren take a step back. “We could have sex against a wall like this.”

“We can have that normally,” Ren replied, scowling.

“Yeah but it’d be different. I’ll let you use the Force on me,” Hux reasoned, placing his hands on Ren’s hips.

“Take it off,” Ren replied sternly, pushing Hux’s hands off.

“No, Ren.” Hux placed his hands right back on.

“Stop it,” Ren growled, pushing the hands off again, “That’s your only warning.”

“Ren,” Hux persisted, touching Ren’s still bare chest this time.

Ren acted on impulse, throwing a hand up and trying to push Hux back using the Force. Only, because Hux was already midair, he underestimated the amount of Force he used and resulted in slamming Hux backwards and hitting the wall. Hux cried out, the jetpack’s engine making a distressed noise before failing. Hux fell to the floor on his hands and knees, groaning. 

“Hux!” Ren shouted as he ran over to him, “Shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t expect-”

Ren’s frantic apology was cut short when the jetpack started making a distressed beeping noise. Both of the men turned to look at Hux’s back, the jetpack started to speak. “Self destruct initiated, commencing in T minus ten seconds. Ten, Nine-”

“Holy fuck!” Hux shouted as he scrambled to take the belting system off his chest, trying to yank the ticking time bomb off his body.

“Five, Four, Three-” the machine continued to count down once Hux had removed the jetpack off his body. Once he was free, Ren used the Force to quickly push the pack away from them and towards Hux’s front door. He opened the mechanics in the door, pushing it out. 

“Two, One-” was all the two heard before the door slammed shut behind it. And then was promptly followed with a loud explosion. Hux’s door was thankfully kept intact, impressive as that was. 

The two looked at the door for a solid minute before the two turned to look at each other’s faces.

That certainly killed the mood.

\---

“So you’re admitted for a week from the fumes you inhaled, huh?” Phasma asked Hux from the cot he laid in. He was in nothing but a medical gown, arms crossed and looking away from her. His arm was hooked up to an IV, some sort of medicine was being administered. He didn’t really ask for details.

“Shut it,” Hux scowled, refusing to look at her.

“You should be happy Ren was able to save you, you know,” she pointed out. “That explosion killed five of my troops who were misfortunate enough to be patrolling your hall last night.”

Hux groaned loudly. “Enough.”

“I’m just saying,” she smiled as she started to leave the room. Before the door shut behind her, she added, “Also maybe this will be the lesson you needed, you should disable your auto-buy option on Space Amazon.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to thank [@Neon Bible](http://archiveofourown.org/users/neon_bible) for the beta! You should check out her stuff if you love crack, she's my idol.
> 
> Additional note: When I originally pitched this concept to my friend, who isn't a kyluxer, they recommended that I have Hux die in the end via jetpack explosion. And even as I post this now, they're still trying to convince me to add that to the end. We actually made a bet on TLJ in which if Hux died in the movie via a jetpack explosion, I had to paypal them 100 dollars. I'm thankful I got to keep my 100 dollars at least!
> 
> Please submit all anon hate to my Tumblr [@tezzypants](http://tezzypants.tumblr.com/)


End file.
